ANGRY?

I am today free from work. For this whole week I dont have office. I have no plan. I want to live the whole week like this. Lets see how many days do I survive without the mundane but accustomed office routine. I couldnot help myself coming to the net cafe just for the habit of surfing the net. How was the night? Dont ask me . I could not sleep. Sometimes I get angry with myself. I cannot explain my thoughts to anybody.
Throughout the night I just played with my dreams
There was friends in the dreams
Who looked so distant.
There was memory
My sweetest leisure
Though I dont play with them.
Why it happens all the time
When I think everything is well settled
There comes somthing
to mock at me, to laugh at me...
I have not done any harm to anybody
I have not stolen anybody's sleep
Then why the world comes up to kill me?
Why??????
Lets forget it
Lets forget it
Lets forget it

Dilemma

Today is the last day in my present organisation. I am feeling so strange. In my career of 3 years I have already shifted 2 companies and joining the third. I am feeling strange.. really strange. My Dad worked in the same orginisation for the 35 years and retired from there. He must never have thought of leaving his Orgnisation even once in his time while working. Am I running after money? No I dont think so. Because more or less you get the same amount wherever you are working for the same experience level. I sometimes think how will be my retirement days. I am working in Software Industry and I have not yet seen anybody who has retired from this industry. Its only around 20 years old industry in India. And nobody has faced the retirement age I think. How will be my or precisely our retirement days. Are not we racing towards a somekind of Uncertainity..I dont know where I will from 5 years from now. Why are in such a state of mind. why nothing is certain. Somewhere I heard change is the part of life. Am I following it blindly and trying to bring in change. I am not confused. I know I am doing it for career advcancement. But somehow I cannot write down somewhere that five years down the line I will be..The dilemma of our time?
I remeber the college days when I was doing my engineering. Those were the days when everyday was filled with new dreams, new hopes. Where have gone all the friends. I remember we all promised that we will meet again. We said that the world is round so it is certain that we will meet each other no matter what happen. Five years have gone by I have not met them. Its so strange, the guy who was my roomate I dont know where he is now. A few days back I got to know from a friend about another friend about his engagement and impending marriage. That guy was very good friend of mine. And I remeber how we used to joke about each others wives..and now somebody is going to go to the altar with somebody without even each others knowledge. Somebody may say thta it is my fault I am not trying to keep in touch..But I know thats not true. I try to get in touch with others whenever I can or whenever I get their contact details..But everybody is busy.
Why are we so busy? Are we going to invent something? No we are not we are busy in our mundane work and I think we are happy with our feeling that we are busy. :-) May be...........

First Day in Blogging

Today I was just passing some idle moments in the company having nothing to do and waiting something to happen. Dont think I am a work less youth having nothing to do and just wasting time on somebody else's expense. I am Highly On Demand Software engineer who has just resigned from the present compnay and waiting to join another. So right now I have lots of time in my disposal. You can say I can do lots of other constructive work like I can prepare for some examination, I can enrich myself technically, I can read some novel etc etc.....But today I dont wanna do anything.. I wanted to strike a conversation with my life but she is also busy..So I am having lots of time with me and thats why discovered this place to write and express myself. So I opened my account and thinking what to write!!
What to write? This is a very puzzling question. I have alwys tried my hand in writing. I have won quite a few prizes in college in writing..and encouraged by this I sent my writings to different national level magazines as well. But I didnot have the luck or precisely the editors didnot recognize a budding writer.
Now again I come back to the point..what to write. I remeber reading one short story in Assames(my mother toungue) written by Shilabhadra where throughout the story the author has tried to discover a single topic for his story. I quite enjoyed it..Or may be influenced by this I am writing this piece..
My boss is calling me know..So next time I will write something really very interesting.. And I will welcome to the exciting world of Bloggers..But what to write??????????